{"title":"The \"Midtown Uniform\" Collection","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou don’t need an MBA, an 80-hour workweek, or a foundational misunderstanding of work-life balance to rock the ultimate corporate status symbol.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eWelcome to the \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"15\"\u003e\"Midtown Essentials\" Collection\u003c\/b\u003e, designed for anyone who wants to harness the aggressive, unearned confidence of a 24-year-old Private Equity analyst without actually having to build a financial model. Whether you're buying this as a gag gift for the \"finance bro\" in your life, or you just want to strike fear into the hearts of local baristas by loudly asking to \"circle back on this oat milk latte,\" we’ve got you covered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eWe took the sacred garments of Wall Street and turned them into highly efficient, high-yield satire. Throw on this gear to instantly boost your perceived EBITDA, aggressively leverage your weekend plans, and finally understand what it means to \"take it offline.\" No actual deal flow required.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"men-s-cotton-crew-neck-t-shirt","title":"The \"Finance Bro Vest\" Tee","description":"Meet Workagonia. The lightweight utility vest for analysts, associates, and anyone who has ever said “let me circle back” while wearing performance fabric indoors. 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In an era of constant digital surveillance and endless pings, this notebook is your ultimate analog safe haven.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cover material: UltraHyde hardcover paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Size: 5.5\" × 8.5\" (13.97 cm × 21.59 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: 10.9 oz (309 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 80 pages of lined, cream-colored paper, because \"Bone\" and \"Silian Rail\" were on backorder.\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching elastic closure and ribbon marker\u003cbr\u003e\n• Expandable inner pocket, maximized for hoarding un-expensed Sweetgreen and CAVA receipts","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45090646261875,"sku":"6080418_16952","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/hardcover-bound-notebook-black-front-6a2f09d3b1aa3.jpg?v=1781467608"},{"product_id":"the-liquid-asset-water-bottle-1","title":"The \"Liquid Asset\" Tumbler","description":"This isn't a water bottle; it’s a fully leveraged utility vehicle designed to transport pure, unadulterated survival. 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(650 ml)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dimensions: 10.60″ × 2.90″ (26.92 × 7.37 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: 363 g\u003cbr\u003e\n• Spill-proof design\u003cbr\u003e\n• Scratch and fade-resistant\u003cbr\u003e\n• Powder-coat finish\u003cbr\u003e\n• BPA-free\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e20 oz\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e25.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":45097314975859,"sku":"9718279_19107","price":28.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":45097315008627,"sku":"9718279_19109","price":28.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":45097315041395,"sku":"9718279_19111","price":28.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/insulated-tumbler-with-a-straw-black-20-oz-front-6a2f050f269b3.jpg?v=1781466391"},{"product_id":"the-lets-put-a-pin-in-that-notebook","title":"The \"Let's Put A Pin In That\" Notebook","description":"The \"Let's Put A Pin In That\" deferment ledger is a physical repository for the dead-end ideas, unresolved action items, and unrealistic deliverables you have absolutely no intention of ever revisiting. In an era of endless scope creep and mandatory brainstorms, this notebook is your ultimate analog graveyard for projects that deserve to be forgotten.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cover material: UltraHyde hardcover paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Size: 5.5\" × 8.5\" (13.97 cm × 21.59 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: 10.9 oz (309 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 80 pages of lined, cream-colored paper, because \"Bone\" and \"Silian Rail\" were on backorder.\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching elastic closure and ribbon marker\u003cbr\u003e\n• Expandable inner pocket, maximized for hoarding un-expensed Sweetgreen and CAVA receipts\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unfortunately does not come with a pin to put in it.","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45102298955891,"sku":"3313628_16952","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/hardcover-bound-notebook-black-front-6a2f09b2d85b1.jpg?v=1781467585"},{"product_id":"the-things-to-circle-back-on-notebook","title":"The \"Things To Circle Back On\" Notebook","description":"The Things To Circle Back On notebook is where vague action items go to quietly lose momentum.\u003cbr\u003e\nUse it for deferred decisions, circular email chains, and tasks that somehow survived three meetings without becoming anyone’s actual responsibility.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nA physical parking lot for things you are technically aware of, but emotionally unavailable to address.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cover material: UltraHyde hardcover paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Size: 5.5\" × 8.5\" (13.97 cm × 21.59 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: 10.9 oz (309 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 80 pages of lined, cream-colored paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching elastic closure and ribbon marker\u003cbr\u003e\n• Expandable inner pocket","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45102342013043,"sku":"7072363_16952","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/hardcover-bound-notebook-black-front-6a2f0b7daa533.jpg?v=1781468042"},{"product_id":"copper-vacuum-insulated-bottle","title":"The \"Liquid Asset\" Bottle","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis is not a water bottle. It is a fully leveraged utility vehicle designed to transport pure unadulterated survival. Whether you are hoarding ice cold water or rationing your fourth double espresso of the morning, this double insulated thermos ensures your core operating temperature remains stable while your mental state depreciates. It is the only asset in your portfolio guaranteed to yield a return on investment today.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIts durable stainless steel construction with a powder-coat finish is scratch and fade-resistant, while the spill-proof design and wide opening make it practical for everyday use. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Stainless steel with copper insulation\u003cbr\u003e• 22 oz. 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This oversized shirt captures the exact moment your weekend plans evaporate because someone found a formatting error on slide forty two. Wear it as a badge of honor, or as a warning sign that you are one minor revision away from total collapse.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% organic combed ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 5.9 oz.\/yd.² (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Oversized fit\u003cbr\u003e• Set-in sleeves\u003cbr\u003e• Dropped shoulders\u003cbr\u003e• 1 × 1 rib at collar\u003cbr\u003e• Self-fabric neck tape on the inside of the back\u003cbr\u003e• The fabric of this product holds certifications for its organic cotton content under GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard) and OCS (Organic Content Standard)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe sizes correspond to a bigger size in the European market, customers from that region should order a size down.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"French Navy \/ S","offer_id":45158515277939,"sku":"5038613_21001","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ M","offer_id":45158515310707,"sku":"5038613_21007","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ L","offer_id":45158515343475,"sku":"5038613_21013","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ XL","offer_id":45158515376243,"sku":"5038613_21019","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158515409011,"sku":"5038613_21025","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":45158515441779,"sku":"5038613_21000","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":45158515474547,"sku":"5038613_21006","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":45158515507315,"sku":"5038613_21012","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":45158515540083,"sku":"5038613_21018","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158515572851,"sku":"5038613_21024","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ S","offer_id":45240554750067,"sku":"1600275_21004","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ M","offer_id":45240554782835,"sku":"1600275_21010","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ L","offer_id":45240554815603,"sku":"1600275_21016","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ XL","offer_id":45240554848371,"sku":"1600275_21022","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ 2XL","offer_id":45240554881139,"sku":"1600275_21028","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45240554913907,"sku":"1600275_21005","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45240554946675,"sku":"1600275_21011","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45240554979443,"sku":"1600275_21017","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45240555012211,"sku":"1600275_21023","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45240555044979,"sku":"1600275_21029","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/unisex-organic-oversized-high-neck-blaster-2.0-t-shirt-french-navy-front-6a4aba66e567e.jpg?v=1783282293"},{"product_id":"the-pls-fix-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"PLS FIX.\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"There is no phrase in the corporate English language more terrifying than receiving an email from a Managing Director at 11:45 PM that simply says: \"Pls fix.\" No context. No attachments. Just a vague demand to open your spreadsheet back up and suffer.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIf your laptop is going to be the source of all your weekend trauma, it might as well wear the uniform.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene thicker than your skin\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat. The only thing it cant't protect your laptop from is your MD's Friday emails.\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45158600867955,"sku":"8484460_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45158600900723,"sku":"8484460_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a4ad584e442b.jpg?v=1783289240"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/collections\/Finance_Collection.png?v=1781137364","url":"https:\/\/hrgonewild.com\/collections\/midtown-finance-bro-cosplay.oembed","provider":"HR Gone Wild","version":"1.0","type":"link"}