{"title":"The \"Corporate Armor\" Collection","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eEvery morning, you prepare for battle. The battlefield? Your calendar. The enemy? Last-minute Slack pings and \"quick sync\" requests. This collection is your daily defense mechanism. From laptop sleeves that warn others to step away from your active spreadsheets, to heavy-duty mugs designed to shield you from early-morning small talk, this is the gear you need to survive the 9-to-5 crossfire with your sanity intact.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-shareholder-value-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"Shareholder Value Generator\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"This case keeps your hardware safe from transit damage, spills, and the daily commute. The exterior accurately identifies your true corporate purpose: building shareholder value. It features a highly optimistic, completely fabricated year-over-year growth chart printed in our signature gradient.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIt fits standard laptops securely. It zips completely shut so the deliverables are contained and the work cannot reach you.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45084179988595,"sku":"9446189_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45084180021363,"sku":"9446189_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a4ad0865b01c.jpg?v=1783287947"},{"product_id":"the-threat-level-coffee-mug","title":"The \"Threat Level\" Coffee Mug","description":"A ceramic status indicator for the morning routine.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nYour team does not need to guess if you have 'bandwidth' for a 'quick sync.' They just need to check the liquid level. When the cup is full, the risk of approaching you is at its peak. As the caffeine enters your system, the threat slowly downgrades from complete hostility, to async communication, and finally, basic human function.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIt holds enough coffee to get you to 10 AM. It prevents unsolicited small talk.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nKeep it visible. Let the drinkware set the boundary.","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":45084264169587,"sku":"1621445_1320","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":45084264202355,"sku":"1621445_4830","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":45084264235123,"sku":"1621445_16586","price":13.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-11-oz-cutting-board-6a2706d83ebc5.jpg?v=1780942559"},{"product_id":"the-20-ounce-buffer-mug","title":"The \"Quick Question\" Survival Mug","description":"A standard cup of coffee is for people who are actually rested. You are not. You are doing the work of three people while leadership discovers the word 'innovation'.  It takes exactly twenty ounces of caffeine to generate the patience required for a 'productive day'. A regular mug will not cover the baseline exhaustion. You need industrial volume. This massive piece of drinkware creates a 4.3-inch physical wall between you and the rest of the office. Coworkers must wait until all twenty ounces are gone before they can approach you with a 'quick question'.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIt is built from solid ceramic. \u003cbr\u003e\nIt holds a full 20 ounces. \u003cbr\u003e\nIt stands 4.3 inches (10.9 cm) tall and 3.7 inches (9.3 cm) wide. \u003cbr\u003e\nIt is lead and BPA-free. \u003cbr\u003e\nIt safely survives the dishwasher and the microwave.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTake your time drinking it. The deliverables can wait.","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45084385149043,"sku":"2409560_16586","price":13.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-front-view-6a2717f75df71.jpg?v=1780946955"},{"product_id":"the-sweaty-steve-ballmer-keynote-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"Developers, Developers, Developers\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"A physical monument to the most unhinged keynote in tech history.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nLong before executives wore minimalist turtlenecks and whispered gently about 'mindful disruption', tech leadership was about pacing a stage, sweating completely through a button-down shirt, and screaming a single word until your vocal cords gave out. This sleeve is a high-end streetwear tribute to Steve Ballmer’s legendary 2000s Microsoft meltdown.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe typography is mathematically designed to visually hyperventilate. The further down the sleeve you read, the more compressed and frantic the chant becomes, perfectly mimicking the frantic energy of a billionaire running out of breath. It is a daily reminder to your entire office that strategy is temporary, but aggressive, repetitive volume is forever.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPut your hardware inside. Protect it with the manic energy of a Y2K tech CEO.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45084776693875,"sku":"7112720_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45084776726643,"sku":"7112720_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-15-front-6a2753b5d09c6.jpg?v=1780962246"},{"product_id":"unisex-premium-t-shirt-4","title":"The \"Teams Gives You Pings\" Unisex Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(64, 64, 64);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: small;\"\u003eEnergy drinks might give you wings, but corporate communication software gives you a low grade panic attack every time you hear that cursed sound. This is a motivational shirt for the world’s least favorite energy source: workplace notifications. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: small;\"\u003eOne ping becomes twelve. Twelve becomes a meeting. The meeting becomes a task. The task becomes the rest of the day. So \"TEAMS GIVES YOU PINGS\" reminds us of our favorite energy drink that gives you wings, so next time you can hopefully just fly away. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Marles color is 85% cotton and 15% viscose\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 5.3 oz.\/yd.² (150.25 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Yarn diameter: 28 singles\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk\u003cbr\u003e• Regular fit\u003cbr\u003e• Crew neck\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Double-needle topstitch on the sleeves and hem\u003cbr\u003e• Ribbed collar\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":45158236323955,"sku":"7833271_18772","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":45158236356723,"sku":"7833271_18773","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":45158236389491,"sku":"7833271_18777","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":45158236422259,"sku":"7833271_18774","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158236455027,"sku":"7833271_18775","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158236487795,"sku":"7833271_18776","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":45158236520563,"sku":"7833271_18779","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":45158236553331,"sku":"7833271_18780","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":45158236586099,"sku":"7833271_18784","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":45158236618867,"sku":"7833271_18781","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158236651635,"sku":"7833271_18782","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158236684403,"sku":"7833271_18783","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ecru \/ S","offer_id":45158236717171,"sku":"7833271_46417","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ecru \/ M","offer_id":45158236749939,"sku":"7833271_46418","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ecru \/ L","offer_id":45158236782707,"sku":"7833271_46419","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ecru \/ XL","offer_id":45158236815475,"sku":"7833271_46420","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ecru \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158236848243,"sku":"7833271_46421","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ecru \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158236881011,"sku":"7833271_46422","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45158236913779,"sku":"7833271_18793","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45158236946547,"sku":"7833271_18794","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45158236979315,"sku":"7833271_18798","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45158237012083,"sku":"7833271_18795","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158237044851,"sku":"7833271_18796","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158237077619,"sku":"7833271_18797","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/unisex-premium-t-shirt-black-front-6a4a911481adb.jpg?v=1783271716"},{"product_id":"womens-relaxed-t-shirt","title":"The \"Teams Gives You Pings\" Women’s Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(64, 64, 64);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: small;\"\u003eEnergy drinks might give you wings, but corporate communication software gives you a low grade panic attack every time you hear that cursed sound. This is a motivational shirt for the world’s least favorite energy source: workplace notifications. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: Arial; font-size: small;\"\u003eOne ping becomes twelve. Twelve becomes a meeting. The meeting becomes a task. The task becomes the rest of the day. So \"TEAMS GIVES YOU PINGS\" reminds us of our favorite energy drink that gives you wings, so next time you can hopefully just fly away. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism Lilac \u0026amp; Heather Prism Natural are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic Heather is 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Other Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/y² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Crew neck\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":45158252839027,"sku":"3520625_10235","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":45158252871795,"sku":"3520625_10236","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":45158252904563,"sku":"3520625_10237","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":45158252937331,"sku":"3520625_10238","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158252970099,"sku":"3520625_10239","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158253002867,"sku":"3520625_10240","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":45158253035635,"sku":"3520625_10187","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":45158253068403,"sku":"3520625_10188","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":45158253101171,"sku":"3520625_10189","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":45158253133939,"sku":"3520625_10190","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158253166707,"sku":"3520625_10191","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158253199475,"sku":"3520625_10192","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45158253232243,"sku":"3520625_10252","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45158253265011,"sku":"3520625_10253","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45158253297779,"sku":"3520625_10254","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45158253330547,"sku":"3520625_10255","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158253363315,"sku":"3520625_10256","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158253396083,"sku":"3520625_10257","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/womens-relaxed-t-shirt-black-front-6a4a9317dfde7.jpg?v=1783272223"},{"product_id":"men-s-premium-heavyweight-tee","title":"The \"Maybe He’s Born With It. Maybe It’s Burnout.\" Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eThis premium tee perfectly captures the modern professional aesthetic of being completely dead inside but still making your deliverables. It is thick enough to hide the fact that you are actively sweating through your third coffee and completely out of capacity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Charcoal Heather and Carbon Grey is 60% cotton and 40% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 6.5 oz\/yd² (220 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• 20 singles\u003cbr\u003e• Regular fit\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• 1 × 1 rib at collar \u003cbr\u003e• Single-needle edge stitch 7\/8″\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":45158506233971,"sku":"5214507_12757","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":45158506266739,"sku":"5214507_12758","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":45158506299507,"sku":"5214507_12759","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158506332275,"sku":"5214507_12760","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158506365043,"sku":"5214507_12766","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":45158506201203,"sku":"5214507_12756","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Grey \/ S","offer_id":45240569725043,"sku":"4409982_12780","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Grey \/ M","offer_id":45240569757811,"sku":"4409982_12781","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Grey \/ L","offer_id":45240569790579,"sku":"4409982_12782","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Grey \/ XL","offer_id":45240569823347,"sku":"4409982_12783","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":45240569856115,"sku":"4409982_12784","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Carbon Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":45240569888883,"sku":"4409982_12785","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45240569921651,"sku":"4409982_12761","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45240569954419,"sku":"4409982_12762","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45240569987187,"sku":"4409982_12763","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45240570019955,"sku":"4409982_12764","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45240570052723,"sku":"4409982_12765","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":45240570085491,"sku":"4409982_12767","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/mens-premium-heavyweight-tee-black-front-6a4ab45a82ce0.jpg?v=1783280750"},{"product_id":"womens-relaxed-t-shirt-2","title":"The \"Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe It’s Burnout.\" Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003ePeople might wonder if that effortless look is natural beauty or just the hollow stare of someone who has been managing three uncompensated projects for the last six months. This relaxed shirt answers the question before they even ask. It is the perfect attire for days when your skincare routine consists entirely of sitting under harsh fluorescent office lights and hoping nobody notices you are actively dissociating.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism Lilac \u0026amp; Heather Prism Natural are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic Heather is 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Other Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/y² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Crew neck\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":45158508036211,"sku":"1524882_10235","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":45158508068979,"sku":"1524882_10236","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":45158508101747,"sku":"1524882_10237","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":45158508134515,"sku":"1524882_10238","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158508167283,"sku":"1524882_10239","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158508200051,"sku":"1524882_10240","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":45158508232819,"sku":"1524882_10187","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":45158508265587,"sku":"1524882_10188","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":45158508298355,"sku":"1524882_10189","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":45158508331123,"sku":"1524882_10190","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158508363891,"sku":"1524882_10191","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":45158508396659,"sku":"1524882_10192","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Violet \/ S","offer_id":45240563302515,"sku":"4872454_46538","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Violet \/ M","offer_id":45240563335283,"sku":"4872454_46539","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Violet \/ L","offer_id":45240563368051,"sku":"4872454_46540","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Violet \/ XL","offer_id":45240563400819,"sku":"4872454_46541","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Violet \/ 2XL","offer_id":45240563433587,"sku":"4872454_46542","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Violet \/ 3XL","offer_id":45240563466355,"sku":"4872454_46543","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":45240563499123,"sku":"4872454_46501","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":45240563531891,"sku":"4872454_46502","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":45240563564659,"sku":"4872454_46503","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":45240563597427,"sku":"4872454_46504","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":45240563630195,"sku":"4872454_46505","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":45240563662963,"sku":"4872454_46506","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage White \/ S","offer_id":45240563695731,"sku":"4872454_46513","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage White \/ M","offer_id":45240563728499,"sku":"4872454_46514","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage White \/ L","offer_id":45240563761267,"sku":"4872454_46515","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage White \/ XL","offer_id":45240563794035,"sku":"4872454_46516","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45240563826803,"sku":"4872454_46517","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Vintage White \/ 3XL","offer_id":45240563859571,"sku":"4872454_46518","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/womens-relaxed-t-shirt-navy-front-6a4ab4aee387b.jpg?v=1783280831"},{"product_id":"unisex-organic-oversized-high-neck-t-shirt-4","title":"The \"I Just Can’t\" Oversized Tee","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\"Just Do It\" is a great slogan for athletes and highly motivated summer interns. You are neither. While the rest of the world is busy chasing goals and crushing it, you are just trying to survive until Friday without having a breakdown in the company bathroom. While everyone else is trying to \"Just Do It\" and climb the corporate ladder, you are perfectly content staying firmly on the ground. This shirt serves as a highly visible warning label to leadership that you will not be leaning in today, because you quite literally just can't.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% organic combed ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 5.9 oz.\/yd.² (200 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Oversized fit\u003cbr\u003e• Set-in sleeves\u003cbr\u003e• Dropped shoulders\u003cbr\u003e• 1 × 1 rib at collar\u003cbr\u003e• Self-fabric neck tape on the inside of the back\u003cbr\u003e• The fabric of this product holds certifications for its organic cotton content under GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard) and OCS (Organic Content Standard)\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe sizes correspond to a bigger size in the European market, customers from that region should order a size down.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"French Navy \/ S","offer_id":45158514819187,"sku":"3249588_21001","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ M","offer_id":45158514851955,"sku":"3249588_21007","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ L","offer_id":45158514884723,"sku":"3249588_21013","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ XL","offer_id":45158514917491,"sku":"3249588_21019","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"French Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158514950259,"sku":"3249588_21025","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":45158514983027,"sku":"3249588_21000","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":45158515015795,"sku":"3249588_21006","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":45158515048563,"sku":"3249588_21012","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":45158515081331,"sku":"3249588_21018","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":45158515114099,"sku":"3249588_21024","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ S","offer_id":45217018118259,"sku":"7299538_21004","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ M","offer_id":45217018151027,"sku":"7299538_21010","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ L","offer_id":45217018183795,"sku":"7299538_21016","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ XL","offer_id":45217018216563,"sku":"7299538_21022","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone \/ 2XL","offer_id":45217018249331,"sku":"7299538_21028","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45217018282099,"sku":"7299538_21005","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45217018314867,"sku":"7299538_21011","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45217018347635,"sku":"7299538_21017","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45217018380403,"sku":"7299538_21023","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45217018413171,"sku":"7299538_21029","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/unisex-organic-oversized-high-neck-blaster-2.0-t-shirt-french-navy-front-6a4ab9b1b3ee7.jpg?v=1783282113"},{"product_id":"trucker-cap","title":"The \"I Just Can’t\" Trucker Hat","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\"Just Do It\" is a great slogan for athletes and highly motivated summer interns. You are neither. While the rest of the world is busy chasing goals and crushing it, you are just trying to survive until Friday without having a breakdown in the company bathroom. While everyone else is trying to \"Just Do It\" and climb the corporate ladder, you are perfectly content staying firmly on the ground. This hat serves as a highly visible warning label to leadership that you will not be leaning in today, because you quite literally just can't.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 26% cotton, 74% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area\u003cbr\u003e• Structured, six-panel cap\u003cbr\u003e• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)\u003cbr\u003e• Hard buckram front panels\u003cbr\u003e• Mesh back\u003cbr\u003e• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor\u003cbr\u003e• Plastic adjustable closure\u003cbr\u003e• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ⅝-⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"metric\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55-1.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":45258577969267,"sku":"6886958_8747","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":45258578002035,"sku":"9973749_8751","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki","offer_id":45258579083379,"sku":"1072500_8752","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":45258579116147,"sku":"1072500_8746","price":27.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/retro-trucker-hat-black-front-6a4abf25493f0.jpg?v=1783283505"},{"product_id":"amber-jar-soy-candle","title":"The \"Departed Colleagues\" Soy Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA memorial candle dedicated to the beloved teammates who successfully escaped the corporate grid. Light this candle to honor the memory of those who found better opportunities elsewhere and left you behind to handle their remaining spreadsheets. It is the perfect desk companion for mourning the loss of your favorite workplace allies.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% natural soy wax blend\u003cbr\u003e• 100% cotton wick\u003cbr\u003e• Amber glass jar\u003cbr\u003e• 2 size options: 4 oz (2.36″ × 2.56″) and 9 oz (2.87″ × 3.5″)\u003cbr\u003e• Available in 6 scents, including an unscented option\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from the USA\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"4oz","offer_id":45240993611891,"sku":"3023212_44142","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz","offer_id":45240993644659,"sku":"3023212_44147","price":17.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/amber-jar-scented-soy-candle-white-sage---lavender-4oz-front-6a582244c6dd4.jpg?v=1784160854"},{"product_id":"dad-hat-1","title":"The \"Just Don't.\" Baseball Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003e\"Just Do It\" is a fantastic piece of advice for people who are trying to climb Mount Everest or finish a marathon. It is terrible advice for a Tuesday afternoon when you have already sat through four status updates that could have been text messages. This hat is a corporate survival mechanism designed to counter the toxic positivity of the modern open concept office. While overachievers are busy optimizing their workflows and leaning in, your current operational goal is strictly limited to staring blankly at your monitor until it is socially acceptable to log off. Pull the brim low to communicate your baseline boundary to anyone carrying a clipboard. When leadership asks for a volunteer to spearhead a new cross functional committee, you do not need to check your calendar or draft a polite refusal. Your forehead has already provided the answer.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% chino cotton twill\u003cbr\u003e• Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile\u003cbr\u003e• 6 embroidered eyelets\u003cbr\u003e• 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown\u003cbr\u003e• Adjustable strap with antique buckle\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":45258543661171,"sku":"3453005_7854","price":31.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":45258543693939,"sku":"3453005_7857","price":31.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone","offer_id":45258553131123,"sku":"6907128_7859","price":31.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":45258553163891,"sku":"6907128_7853","price":31.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/classic-dad-hat-black-front-6a5a4edb70c7b.jpg?v=1784303340"}],"url":"https:\/\/hrgonewild.com\/collections\/the-corporate-armor-collection.oembed","provider":"HR Gone Wild","version":"1.0","type":"link"}