{"title":"Accessories","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"the-shareholder-value-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"Shareholder Value Generator\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"This case keeps your hardware safe from transit damage, spills, and the daily commute. The exterior accurately identifies your true corporate purpose: building shareholder value. It features a highly optimistic, completely fabricated year-over-year growth chart printed in our signature gradient.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIt fits standard laptops securely. It zips completely shut so the deliverables are contained and the work cannot reach you.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45084179988595,"sku":"9446189_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45084180021363,"sku":"9446189_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a4ad0865b01c.jpg?v=1783287947"},{"product_id":"mental-health-protective-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"Do Not Unzip\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"Your laptop is not just a computer. It is a hazardous containment unit for active calendar invites, manufactured urgency, and unsolicited feedback. This sleeve provides a strict, protective boundary between you and the corporation. When completely closed, it is clinically proven to block 99 percent of your workload.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDo not break the seal outside of working hours. Keep the deliverables quarantined.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45084694184051,"sku":"8773280_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45084694216819,"sku":"8773280_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a4ad3937699b.jpg?v=1783288728"},{"product_id":"lost-found-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"Do Not Locate Me\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"Losing your corporate hardware is not a crisis. It is a spontaneous vacation. This sleeve provides clear, aggressive instructions to anyone who might try to ruin your peace by returning your device too quickly. It establishes a strict three to five business day waiting period before anyone is allowed to locate you.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nYou are untrackable. You are off the grid. You need a break from work. Let the hardware stay lost.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45084715843699,"sku":"3271162_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45084715876467,"sku":"3271162_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a4ad3dd902e9.jpg?v=1783288807"},{"product_id":"the-take-it-offline-notebook","title":"The \"Take It Offline\" Notebook","description":"The \"Take It Offline\" tactical ledger is a physical repository for the thoughts, unhinged margin calculations, and passive-aggressive notes you absolutely cannot put into a Microsoft Teams chat. In an era of constant digital surveillance and endless pings, this notebook is your ultimate analog safe haven.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cover material: UltraHyde hardcover paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Size: 5.5\" × 8.5\" (13.97 cm × 21.59 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: 10.9 oz (309 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 80 pages of lined, cream-colored paper, because \"Bone\" and \"Silian Rail\" were on backorder.\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching elastic closure and ribbon marker\u003cbr\u003e\n• Expandable inner pocket, maximized for hoarding un-expensed Sweetgreen and CAVA receipts","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45090646261875,"sku":"6080418_16952","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/hardcover-bound-notebook-black-front-6a2f09d3b1aa3.jpg?v=1781467608"},{"product_id":"the-lets-put-a-pin-in-that-notebook","title":"The \"Let's Put A Pin In That\" Notebook","description":"The \"Let's Put A Pin In That\" deferment ledger is a physical repository for the dead-end ideas, unresolved action items, and unrealistic deliverables you have absolutely no intention of ever revisiting. In an era of endless scope creep and mandatory brainstorms, this notebook is your ultimate analog graveyard for projects that deserve to be forgotten.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cover material: UltraHyde hardcover paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Size: 5.5\" × 8.5\" (13.97 cm × 21.59 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: 10.9 oz (309 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 80 pages of lined, cream-colored paper, because \"Bone\" and \"Silian Rail\" were on backorder.\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching elastic closure and ribbon marker\u003cbr\u003e\n• Expandable inner pocket, maximized for hoarding un-expensed Sweetgreen and CAVA receipts\u003cbr\u003e\n• Unfortunately does not come with a pin to put in it.","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45102298955891,"sku":"3313628_16952","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/hardcover-bound-notebook-black-front-6a2f09b2d85b1.jpg?v=1781467585"},{"product_id":"the-things-to-circle-back-on-notebook","title":"The \"Things To Circle Back On\" Notebook","description":"The Things To Circle Back On notebook is where vague action items go to quietly lose momentum.\u003cbr\u003e\nUse it for deferred decisions, circular email chains, and tasks that somehow survived three meetings without becoming anyone’s actual responsibility.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nA physical parking lot for things you are technically aware of, but emotionally unavailable to address.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Cover material: UltraHyde hardcover paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Size: 5.5\" × 8.5\" (13.97 cm × 21.59 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Weight: 10.9 oz (309 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 80 pages of lined, cream-colored paper\u003cbr\u003e\n• Matching elastic closure and ribbon marker\u003cbr\u003e\n• Expandable inner pocket","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45102342013043,"sku":"7072363_16952","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/hardcover-bound-notebook-black-front-6a2f0b7daa533.jpg?v=1781468042"},{"product_id":"tough-case-for-iphone®","title":"The \"Work Calling\" iPhone Case","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eYour phone is the primary vehicle for manufactured urgency and unsolicited pings. Protect that hardware with a dual layered case built to withstand the inevitable impact of you tossing your phone across the room when another meeting invite lands. It is impact resistant and stylish, keeping your device fashionable even while you decline every single incoming call.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Polycarbonate outer shell\u003cbr\u003e• Thermoplastic Polyurethane TPU inner liner\u003cbr\u003e• Dual-layer protection\u003cbr\u003e• Precisely aligned port openings\u003cbr\u003e• Induction charging compatible\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"iPhone 11","offer_id":45111947788403,"sku":"9519282_15392","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 11 Pro","offer_id":45111947821171,"sku":"9519282_15393","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 11 Pro Max","offer_id":45111947853939,"sku":"9519282_15394","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 12 mini","offer_id":45111947886707,"sku":"9519282_15396","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 12","offer_id":45111947919475,"sku":"9519282_15395","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 12 Pro","offer_id":45111947952243,"sku":"9519282_15397","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 12 Pro Max","offer_id":45111947985011,"sku":"9519282_15398","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 13 mini","offer_id":45111948017779,"sku":"9519282_15400","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 13","offer_id":45111948050547,"sku":"9519282_15399","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 13 Pro","offer_id":45111948083315,"sku":"9519282_15401","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 13 Pro Max","offer_id":45111948116083,"sku":"9519282_15402","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 14","offer_id":45111948148851,"sku":"9519282_16125","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 14 Plus","offer_id":45111948181619,"sku":"9519282_16129","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 14 Pro","offer_id":45111948214387,"sku":"9519282_16127","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 14 Pro Max","offer_id":45111948247155,"sku":"9519282_16131","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 15","offer_id":45111948279923,"sku":"9519282_17715","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 15 Plus","offer_id":45111948312691,"sku":"9519282_17717","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 15 Pro","offer_id":45111948345459,"sku":"9519282_17719","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 15 Pro Max","offer_id":45111948378227,"sku":"9519282_17721","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 16","offer_id":45111948410995,"sku":"9519282_20306","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 16 Plus","offer_id":45111948443763,"sku":"9519282_20307","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 16 Pro","offer_id":45111948476531,"sku":"9519282_20308","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 16 Pro Max","offer_id":45111948509299,"sku":"9519282_20309","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 17","offer_id":45111948542067,"sku":"9519282_33989","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 17 Air","offer_id":45111948574835,"sku":"9519282_33990","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 17 Pro","offer_id":45111948607603,"sku":"9519282_33991","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"iPhone 17 Pro Max","offer_id":45111948640371,"sku":"9519282_33992","price":26.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/tough-case-for-iphone-matte-iphone-11-front-6a32c68876e48.jpg?v=1781712534"},{"product_id":"spiral-notebook","title":"The \"Paper Trail\" Evidence Notebook","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eFor the notes you take because someone will later develop selective memory. Use it for decisions, timelines, follow-ups, and every conversation that may need to become evidence without anyone saying the word evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• Covers with soft-touch coating\u003cbr\u003e• Cover weight: 10.38 oz\/yd² (352 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Page weight: 2.62 oz\/yd² (89 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Metal wire-o binding\u003cbr\u003e• 140 dotted pages\u003cbr\u003e• US fulfilled notebooks measure 5.5″ × 8.5″ (13 × 21 cm)\u003cbr\u003e• EU fulfilled notebooks measure 5.7″ × 8.5″ (14.5 × 21 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45123097821299,"sku":"2870739_12141","price":17.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/spiral-notebook-dotted-front-6a39b8a5c336a.jpg?v=1782167734"},{"product_id":"laptop-sleeve-1","title":"The \"Low Bandwidth\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-root=\"1\"\u003eYour hardware might have a lightning fast processor, but the person carrying it does not. This protective sleeve warns the IT department and your manager that the user is experiencing severe lag. Keep your device safe while clearly broadcasting that your personal operating system is currently buffering.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 100% neoprene\u003cbr\u003e• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat\u003cbr\u003e• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e• Padded zipper binding\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45141023096947,"sku":"8862337_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45141023129715,"sku":"8862337_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a42e2c6b77d9.jpg?v=1782768348"},{"product_id":"the-pls-fix-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"PLS FIX.\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"There is no phrase in the corporate English language more terrifying than receiving an email from a Managing Director at 11:45 PM that simply says: \"Pls fix.\" No context. No attachments. Just a vague demand to open your spreadsheet back up and suffer.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIf your laptop is going to be the source of all your weekend trauma, it might as well wear the uniform.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene thicker than your skin\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat. The only thing it cant't protect your laptop from is your MD's Friday emails.\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45158600867955,"sku":"8484460_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45158600900723,"sku":"8484460_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-13-front-6a4ad584e442b.jpg?v=1783289240"},{"product_id":"amber-jar-soy-candle","title":"The \"Departed Colleagues\" Soy Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA memorial candle dedicated to the beloved teammates who successfully escaped the corporate grid. Light this candle to honor the memory of those who found better opportunities elsewhere and left you behind to handle their remaining spreadsheets. It is the perfect desk companion for mourning the loss of your favorite workplace allies.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% natural soy wax blend\u003cbr\u003e• 100% cotton wick\u003cbr\u003e• Amber glass jar\u003cbr\u003e• 2 size options: 4 oz (2.36″ × 2.56″) and 9 oz (2.87″ × 3.5″)\u003cbr\u003e• Available in 6 scents, including an unscented option\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from the USA\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"4oz","offer_id":45240993611891,"sku":"3023212_44142","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz","offer_id":45240993644659,"sku":"3023212_44147","price":17.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/amber-jar-scented-soy-candle-white-sage---lavender-9oz-front-6a582244c8285.jpg?v=1784160854"},{"product_id":"amber-jar-soy-candle-1","title":"The \"Calendar Protection\" Soy Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAn aromatic shield designed to ward off unsolicited calendar invites and spontaneous project updates. Light this natural soy candle to establish a protective boundary around your remaining focused time. It offers effective ambient support that helps you mentally decline extra deliverables and blocks up to fifty unwanted meetings.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% natural soy wax blend\u003cbr\u003e• 100% cotton wick\u003cbr\u003e• Amber glass jar\u003cbr\u003e• 2 size options: 4 oz (2.36″ × 2.56″) and 9 oz (2.87″ × 3.5″)\u003cbr\u003e• Available in 6 scents, including an unscented option\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from the USA\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"4oz","offer_id":45240996200563,"sku":"1691739_44142","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz","offer_id":45240996233331,"sku":"1691739_44147","price":17.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/amber-jar-scented-soy-candle-white-sage---lavender-9oz-front-6a5822d57dfd8.jpg?v=1787955691"},{"product_id":"amber-jar-soy-candle-2","title":"The \"Burnout Relief\" Soy Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eFast atmospheric relief for the chronically overworked corporate citizen. This natural candle is specifically formulated to accompany you as you reach maximum exhaustion. It provides a peaceful flickering glow to illuminate the exact moments your career ambition completely evaporates under the weight of endless scope creep.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% natural soy wax blend\u003cbr\u003e• 100% cotton wick\u003cbr\u003e• Amber glass jar\u003cbr\u003e• 2 size options: 4 oz (2.36″ × 2.56″) and 9 oz (2.87″ × 3.5″)\u003cbr\u003e• Available in 6 scents, including an unscented option\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"4oz","offer_id":45240998101107,"sku":"2833746_44142","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz","offer_id":45240998133875,"sku":"2833746_44147","price":17.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/amber-jar-scented-soy-candle-white-sage---lavender-9oz-front-6a58237aa3880.jpg?v=1787955591"},{"product_id":"amber-jar-soy-candle-3","title":"The \"Running on Fumes\" Soy Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eAdditional fuel for the professional who has reached their absolute operational limit. When your personal engine is completely empty but your task list is still expanding, this soy candle provides the perfect atmospheric reinforcement. Light it up to fill your remaining tank with long burning resilience while you push through the final deliverables of the quarter.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% natural soy wax blend\u003cbr\u003e• 100% cotton wick\u003cbr\u003e• Amber glass jar\u003cbr\u003e• 2 size options: 4 oz (2.36″ × 2.56″) and 9 oz (2.87″ × 3.5″)\u003cbr\u003e• Available in 6 scents, including an unscented option\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"4oz","offer_id":45240999805043,"sku":"3417771_44142","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz","offer_id":45240999837811,"sku":"3417771_44147","price":17.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/amber-jar-scented-soy-candle-white-sage---lavender-9oz-front-6a5823b405209.jpg?v=1787955643"},{"product_id":"mouse-pad-2","title":"The \"Active Status\" Mouse Pad","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThe ultimate productivity illusion for the modern remote professional. This mouse pad features a designated target area to keep your cursor moving and your corporate messaging icon firmly lit up in green. Maintain a flawless appearance of deep focus and continuous execution while you actually enjoy a quiet moment away from your desk.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Soft polyester surface \u003cbr\u003e• Natural rubber base\u003cbr\u003e• Rounded edges\u003cbr\u003e• 2.8 oz (79.4 g)\u003cbr\u003e• Size: 8.7″ × 7.1″ × 0.12″ (220 × 180 × 3 mm)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAttention: Avoid placing the pad under direct sunlight to prevent fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHICKNESS (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e8.7\"x7.1\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7 ⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅛\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHICKNESS (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e8.7\"x7.1\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e0.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45241003835507,"sku":"9268063_13097","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/mouse-pad-white-front-6a58252b02e5e.jpg?v=1784161596"}],"url":"https:\/\/hrgonewild.com\/collections\/work-accessories.oembed","provider":"HR Gone Wild","version":"1.0","type":"link"}