{"product_id":"the-sweaty-steve-ballmer-keynote-laptop-sleeve","title":"The \"Developers, Developers, Developers\" Laptop Sleeve","description":"A physical monument to the most unhinged keynote in tech history.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nLong before executives wore minimalist turtlenecks and whispered gently about 'mindful disruption', tech leadership was about pacing a stage, sweating completely through a button-down shirt, and screaming a single word until your vocal cords gave out. This sleeve is a high-end streetwear tribute to Steve Ballmer’s legendary 2000s Microsoft meltdown.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe typography is mathematically designed to visually hyperventilate. The further down the sleeve you read, the more compressed and frantic the chant becomes, perfectly mimicking the frantic energy of a billionaire running out of breath. It is a daily reminder to your entire office that strategy is temporary, but aggressive, repetitive volume is forever.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPut your hardware inside. Protect it with the manic energy of a Y2K tech CEO.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% neoprene\u003cbr\u003e\n• 13″ sleeve weight: 6.49 oz (220 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15″ sleeve weight: 8.8 oz (250 g)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Lightweight and resistant to water, oil, and heat\u003cbr\u003e\n• Snug fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• Faux fur interior lining\u003cbr\u003e\n• Top-loading zippered enclosure with two sliders\u003cbr\u003e\n• Padded zipper binding\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e13 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e14 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e11 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHEIGHT (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e13″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15″\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"HR Gone Wild","offers":[{"title":"13″","offer_id":45084776693875,"sku":"7112720_10984","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15″","offer_id":45084776726643,"sku":"7112720_10985","price":32.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0711\/1448\/9971\/files\/laptop-sleeve-15-front-6a2753b5d09c6.jpg?v=1780962246","url":"https:\/\/hrgonewild.com\/products\/the-sweaty-steve-ballmer-keynote-laptop-sleeve","provider":"HR Gone Wild","version":"1.0","type":"link"}